Americans are living longer than ever before, which is great, right? We know that the quality of those extra years is every bit as important – if not more so – than the quantity, and the surest way to enjoy that time is to make sure we are financially solvent. If your dreams of your Golden Years include cruising the Mediterranean on a yacht, a Circle Line tour of Staten Island isn’t going to cut it for you. So as I always say, start planning right now if you haven’t already started.
It’s also a fact that women still outlive men. Statistics say that half of surviving married women over age 65 will outlive their husbands by 15 years. That’s a long time to spend wondering why you can’t afford a nice meal out every now and then.
Whether through divorce or widowhood, suddenly single women generally get a financial slap in the face on top of the emotional upheaval that comes along with their new status. There is no excuse these days for anyone of sound mind to leave the checkbook balancing to his or her significant other because “he always does it.”
Let me tell you a little story about my parents (who have been married for 60 years). My dad has always been in control of everything regarding money. He would not allow my mother to have access to any financial information, except a credit card that she carried and was scared to death to use. Dad even insisted on doing the grocery shopping alone and did not want her or my siblings to go with him due to his fear that we may see something not in his “list” and try to sneak it in the shopping cart. I never even knew as a kid that you could buy real ice cream at the store — we always got Holiday Ice Milk, because it was cheaper!
As with many aging parents, my Dad recently experienced an unexpected and lengthy hospitalization. It wasn’t until I found several unopened past-due notices at my parents’ home did the topic of this blog come to mind. When I asked my Mom about them, she said, “I’ve never paid the bills; I never even open them, besides I don’t write checks and I’m not even sure I know where the checkbook is.” I was horrified and dumbfounded at the same time. How can this be? It was the classic fairy tale “the shoe maker’s children have no shoes.” I’m a respected retirement and end of life planner yet my own parents don’t have one! My mother was aware of a safety deposit box that we swiftly opened to find only a few old treasury bonds (that needed to be cashed), two small life insurance policies and poorly drafted last will and testament. I was under the impression that they had everything under control based on past conversations with my Dad, and boy was I wrong. Fortunately, I had access to the forms necessary and went immediately to my Dad’s bedside and had them executed and took the necessary steps to stop the imploding financial disaster. My Dad has since been discharged and is already trying to take back control of everything in an attempt to assert his independence. I know he believes he is doing the right thing, being the “man of the house” and taking care of my mom, but in reality he is creating a ticking time bomb that is sure to explode.
I’m telling you all this as a cautionary tale, and to emphasize the importance of preparation for the likelihood of having to take care of your own finances in your later years.
Become financially literate – if you don’t know an IRA from the IRS, learn the distinction. Share every bit of financial information and data that you collectively own. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a little “mad money” in the cookie jar, but make sure that it is easily findable by your spouse should something happen to you. Here are some easy to use tools to help you get the job done fast. Finally, get your affairs in order. At the very least, draw up a simple Last Will and Testament to outline your final wishes. This could save a full blow knock-down, drag-out fist fight at your funeral! Also, consider a Durable Power of Attorney and a Healthcare Proxy. These documents will allow you to choose a responsible loved one to make decisions, when you will not be able to do so (notice I used the word “when”). You will sleep better at night knowing these measures are in place, and you’ll also maximize your chances for living the life of your dreams after your income-generating years are behind you.
To your future,
Scott